I get this question everyday, isn't it time for a second child? When Cooper was one or even two it didn't bother me, i would just blow it off and say maybe later. Now that Cooper is almost four this question brings tears to my eyes. Josh and I have been trying to have another child for long time. We've had a hard struggle and many ups and downs. We had a miscarriage before Cooper and have had many after Cooper. Cooper was a miracle we have decided and so have the doctors. When we found out we were going to have Cooper we were excited and scared. Scared to loose him. From the start we were told he might not make it to go home and prepare for a miscarriage. I can honestly say i didn't enjoy being pregnant i feel bad to say that but i hear how other mothers talk about how they love being pregnant and i don't have those feelings. I was put on bed rest and told to take it easy and i was always going to the doctor for extra check ups. Cooper was strong and was meant to be here.

When i first held Cooper and really got to look at him, i fell in love. I never fell so hard for someone so fast. Cooper had me and if you could see the way Josh was looking at him glowing you could tell he had his dad too. We love our little boy and are so grateful that he is healthy and has no problems. We were parents! It was a great feeling to be called mom and dad. Cooper has blessed our life.

We would love to have another child and have been working on this for a long time. Nothing seems to be working. Its exhausting to go to doctor appointments every week having blood work and test and drugs being thrown at you. I'm sick of it, but know its what i have to do to have another child and it will be worth it. Its hard mentally and physically and when its time to pee on a stick and the results are negative it heart breaking. I get real negative and start saying and blaming thing that i know I'm going to have to ask for forgiveness later. Each day is hard and each month that passes is even harder.

Cooper is going to be four in a month and it makes me sad because my baby is getting bigger. Cooper has always looked big for his age and if you ask him how old he is he will say he's six. He loves the number six and some people really believe him. Its funny. I love Cooper and love being his mom. I love watching Josh and Coop play together they can laugh for hours. Josh is a great father. We would love to be parents again and we have been looking into adoption for quite a long time. We've been praying for a child and have a good feeling about adopting but also have a good feeling we will have another child. I think the lord is trying to teach us patience but if things don't work out Josh and I are both grateful and blessed for being parents to the most adorable little boy we named Cooper.

Today a young lady that should rename nameless came to me about advice on trying to get pregnant. She too has had a hard time and was wondering how i handle things. I usually write in my journal about my feelings but thought today i would post them because maybe my story might help someone else.

Ghost with balls

Coop and I had a fun day making little GHOSTS! Josh came home to a little boy running out of the house yelling, "dad my ghosts have balls!"








What you need
1. small white plastic bag
2. black circle stickers
3. something round, i used small foam balls but you could use newspaper
4. Sticks, i used small black plastic pipe

Coop loved making his ghost balls and i loved the time i got to spend with him:)

I love this little guy

Fun day with the camera!

These two are so cute together

Every morning Cooper jumps out of bed to run down stairs to get Chewy out of his bed. As soon as Coop gets to Chewy he says, "did you miss me? i missed you." Then out the door they go. Coop gets on his bike and Chewy looks for a place to go the bathroom. They will stay outside for a little while then both come inside for breakfast. Throughout the day they play and fight over toys but i love it when I'm in the other room and i hear Coop laugh and then say, "your silly Chewy!" Yesterday at the park, Coop was asking a little boy if he wanted to play with him. They both were talking and the little boy said, "i have a brother." Next i hear Coop reply, "I have a Chewy." Then they both ran off to play. Coop loves his Chewy and i think Chewy is getting used to Cooper. I guess the saying a dog is a mans best friend is true.

BOO

Coop says, "don't be scared its just for pretend!"

Coops grandma DeWitt got these suckers for him but Coop was to scared at first to put them in his mouth he thought they were going to bit him. So Josh and I had to show Coop that the suckers were just for pretend. My silly little boy is scared of Halloween!

Fun times

We had tons of family fun this weekend! Josh's parents gave us tickets to the ASU/Georgia game so we went down to mesa.

FUNNY STORY Friday night we had dinner with Josh's brother Jason and his wife Kristy. After dinner we were outside talking and notice a big van with Georgia flags on it. So we decided we should soap it, but all we had was deodorant. So guess what we did?






Jason did the deodoranting with Kristy's help on what to write. Josh and Cooper were on the look out so we wouldn't get caught and i had the camera. Good thing Josh was looking out because the Georgia fans started coming out of the restaurant. we took off running, jumped in our cars and drove off. We drove around the parking lot and turned onto the road and watched as the Georgia fans tried to wash Go devils off their van. We had some good laughs! That night Josh and I were talking and thought what good parents we are for teaching our 3 year old how to soap a van or in this case deodorant a van.

We stayed with Randa and Mike, Josh's cousins and Cooper loved playing with their little girl Ellie. Thanks Randa and Mike for all the fun and a letting us stay with you guys.

Tail gate party! Josh family are huge ASU fans and most of his uncles and cousins have season passes. They all get together before the game for a tail gate party.








ASU game was a blast even though they got beat. It was fun being around family and friends. Thanks again grandma and grandpa dewitt for the tickets!

Cooper was so sad to say goodbye to mesa. We haven't gone anywhere for such a long time that we really needed this trip. On the way home we found some bubble gum chew, i haven't seen this stuff forever. We had to get some and Cooper enjoyed it just how Josh and I did when we were Coops age. Fun times!

My day

I'm still dreaming of the hot kiss i got on my cheek at 4:30 am and hearing Josh's sexy voice saying to sleep don't get up, I'm going to clean the post office for you this morning. Love you! Oh how that made my day!

Cooper and i had a fun day of playing cars. He loved pretending that i was Lightning McQueen and he was Doc Hudson with head phones telling me what to do to win the race. I loved how big the headphone looked on him.



I went to the volleyball games tonight. I just want to tell my two hot cousins Laura Denhalter and Natalie Elkins that they both did amazing, both are awesome volleyball players, both are beautiful and they both won there games!

While i was gone at the volleyball games i came home to Josh putting up Halloween decoration. Josh's favorite holiday is Halloween and he goes crazy with decorating. I have to put him on a budget when it comes to adding to his Halloween collection. "I know its a little early to put decoration up but i can't wait,"is what josh said when i got out of the car. I just had to laugh at my silly hubby that still loves to be a little boy. Its going to take a while before he's done decorating and i will post pics of it but for now say hello to our door bell!


Wishing everyone a great weekend! We're taking a early weekend not going far but we needed a little family trip.